GRANDPARENTS ANSWERING MACHINE
This is funny, read to the end
the kids
descriptions of grandparents is too good.
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ย ย ย ย ย ย GRANDPARENTS ANSWERING MACHINE
Good morning . . . At present we are not at home but, please
Leave your message after you hear the beep.
If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the
option from 1 to 5 in order of “arrival” so we know who it
is.
If you need us to stay with the children, press 2
If you want to borrow the car, press 3
If you want us to wash your clothes, press 4
If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press
5
If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6
If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it
delivered to your home, press 7
If you want to come to eat here, press 8
If you need money, press 9
If you are going to invite us to dinner, or taking us to
the theater,
start
talking we are listening!!!!!!!!!!!”
(Taken
from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)
Grandparents
are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They
like other people’s.
A
grandfather is a man, & a grandmother is a lady!\
Grandparents
don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them
They are old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they
drive us to the shops and give us money.
When
they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves
and caterpillars.
They show us and talk to us about the colors of the flowers
and also why we shouldn’t step on ‘cracks.’
They
don’t say, ‘Hurry up.’
Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your
shoes.
They wear glasses and funny underwear.
Grandparents
don’t have to be smart.
They have to answer questions like ‘Why isn’t God married?’
and ‘How come dogs chase cats?’
When
they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the
same story over again.
Everybody
should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have
television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time
with us.
They
know we should have a snack time before bed time, and they say prayers with
us and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad.
GRANDPA
IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE TEACHES ME GOOD THINGS, BUT I DON’T
GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS SMART AS HIM!
It’s funny when they bend over; you
hear gas leaks, and they blame the dog.
Send
this to other grandparents, almost grandparents, or heck, send it to everyone.
It will make their day.
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